[Manager: *laughing* “You’re gonna love this. There was a complaint against you.”

Me: “Oh, okay?”

Manager: “Apparently you…um, package bread sticks suggestively.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Manager: “Yeah. This is what the actual complaint says: ‘She slid the bread stick into the paper bag while looking at my husband and smiling. I just know she was trying to flirt with him! We couldn’t even eat it, thanks to that hussy!’”

(My manager and I crack up laughing. I’m a lesbian.)]