Why are lesbians so good at foreign languages?

Because they are cunnilinguists.

[via thenaptimestates]

[Photo of a sign at a marriage equality rally reading “I was never taught gay sex in school, but I’m still f**king awesome at it.”]

[via girlyoubetterwakeup]

Foamy the Squirrel - Gay Marriage [via kaitism]

War On Marriage

You’ve probably heard of the War on Marriage. If there were any details you were wondering about, here’s basically what happened:

Obama stood on the platform, high up; looking out over the crowd massed in the square below. Lesbian ninjas watched, unseen, from the shadows; and flamboyantly gay men stood, surrounded by others who had been converted seconds before by concentrated blasts of homosexuality. 

“This morning I handed a note to Republicans, stating that unless each of their presidential candidates called a rent boy, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received.”

Obama pauses, to look out over the gay crowd. They were hushed; almost silent. Barely even breathing.

“And now, consequently, this community is now at war with heterosexuality. By Christmas, all straight marriages will be void, and our country shall be renamed the United States of Gaymerica.” 

A cheer rose from the crowd, deafening; Obama took a step back, momentarily caught off guard by the sheer volume, the sheer intensity of the sound. He grinned, teeth visible, as he looked out over his army.

Below, each man, woman and androgyne extended a hand, up and forwards; a straight-armed salute. In unison, their wrists went limp.

Reaching out to one side, the President of the now-renamed country gripped the handle of a flag, pulling; for a moment, the stars and stripes were visible; fluttering in a sudden gust of wind. Then, he dropped the flag, watching it fall into the ravenously homosexual crowd below: and in the same fluid motion, Obama pulled a new flag out from the opposite side of the platform. 

It unfurled; the same basic design, the striped no longer red and white, but instead forming a rainbow: and each star now composed of glitter. He waved it from side to side; proud.

“This! Is! Gaymerica!” Obama shouted, voice now barely audible over the roar of the crowd. “We’re here! We’re queer! And we’re taking over!” 

[submitted by anon]

Surviving the World comic by Dante Shepherd. Text reads: “If it is harder and scarier for you to explain to your children why some people love each other than for you to explain to your children why some people should be treated less than equal, you’re doing it wrong.” Beside the picture, Dante stands with his three-week old baby in his arms, pretending to be lecturing it.

[via watchthestarsturnyoutonothing]