Barney: (reading Ted’s message) I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend…!
Marshall: Why, in the world, would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?!
Barney: Woah, woah, slow your roll. You? He’s clearly talking about me.
Marshall: Dude it’s me, I’m his best friend!
Barney: Okay. One, that has never been proven. Two, if anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me! I mean look at me. Then look at you. A still-in-the-closet-80-year-old wouldn’t be into that mess.
Marshall: Here’s the thing, Barney. I’m snuggly, you’re not! Who wouldn’t want to snuggle up to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in a comforter and it’s raining outside, and there’s muffins warming in the oven…I’m cuddly, bitch! Deal with it!
Barney: I work out everyday! If there is one thing we know about Ted, is that he likes a nice body, this body will rock his world!
Marshall: Ted and I have a history! I know what he likes! There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind! (pause) Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted?
Barney: I don’t know, it’s weird.- HIMYM, 4x21, The Three Days Rule
OMG how adorable is Marshall?
