“IT’S CANON!” the mindless throng cries.
“No it isn’t!” I retort, desperation creeping into my voice. “It’s queerbaiting! It’s bad writing combined with homophobia!”
“BUT MOFFAT! PERFECT! SO GAY!”
“No!” I scream over the crowd. “Steven Moffat is an incredibly flawed writer! Look how flimsy his Doctor Who plots are! Look at the lack of a coherent theme or narrative! Look how little depth or variety his female characters have!”
“STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS!” they screech in return.
He’s won. Steven Moffat has won. He’s acquired a completely uncritical fanbase who can’t see when they’re being toyed with and played for fools. I let out a broken sob and collapse in despair. As I fall to the ground, the crowd freezes momentarily before they all shout in tearful chorus: