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imnotthedoctor submitted:  Between Two Ferns/Spring Break Anthem - The Lonely Island

athousandreasonstolive submitted [Photo depicts book cover showing partially dressed girls in locker room while gym teacher (with whistle in her mouth) stares at them. Title of book is “Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher” by Monica Nolan, and the caption says “She schooled them in field hockey…and desire.”  There is also a star sticker with the words “First Shocking Printing!”]

athousandreasonstolive submitted [Photo depicts book cover showing partially dressed girls in locker room while gym teacher (with whistle in her mouth) stares at them. Title of book is “Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher” by Monica Nolan, and the caption says “She schooled them in field hockey…and desire.”  There is also a star sticker with the words “First Shocking Printing!”]

nordwaerts submitted: [Vintage card featuring two apparently female persons sharing a kiss]
More old school lesbians! (shh the short-haired one is definitely a girl!)

nordwaerts submitted: [Vintage card featuring two apparently female persons sharing a kiss]

More old school lesbians! (shh the short-haired one is definitely a girl!)

portibonneur submitted: 
just found this on my news feed. 
Apparently now gay families have no last names and family trees will stop growing, blah blah blah, yeah right cause we can’t have kids with last names or WTF [insert bullshit face here] …

portibonneur submitted

just found this on my news feed. 

Apparently now gay families have no last names and family trees will stop growing, blah blah blah, yeah right cause we can’t have kids with last names or WTF [insert bullshit face here] …

thetravellingunicorn submitted: tempted to give it back…

when i saw this submission i thought it was james van der beek

thetravellingunicorn submitted: tempted to give it back…

when i saw this submission i thought it was james van der beek

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 2

Hey, when I tried submitting this as a link, the “Submit” button disappeared. Could you make this a link and remove this comment, please? Also, the link to the page is on the bottom.

(Note: My coworker (who is flamboyantly homosexual) and I are the only two people working at the time.)

Coworker: “Hey ya, how’re you doing today? Is there anything we can help you find?”

Customer: “Leave me alone.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, is something wrong?”

Customer: “I said leave me alone!”

(While the customer browses, I head to the back to get some categorizing done. I come back at the request of my coworker, only to hear the customer yelling.)

Customer: “I will NOT be serviced by some f****t! You people are gonna burn in h***, and I don’t want you taking me down with you!”

Coworker: *on the verge of tears* “Sir, I’m really just trying to—”

Customer: *points to me* “HIM! Let HIM help me! Ain’t no f****t gonna handle my records! You, there! With the beard! Come help me, please!”

(Instead of helping the customer, I wrap my arm around my coworker’s shoulder. Note that I’m not gay.)

Me: “Is my boyfriend unable to help you with your transaction, sir?”

Customer: *looks horrified and sprints out of the store*

(via notalwaysright.com)

technobecian submitted: Image from PostSecret.com, pink paper heart pasted on picture of pink flowers: “i give cute girls discounts at work. (which makes me think that maybe… i’m a lesbian.)”

technobecian submitted: Image from PostSecret.com, pink paper heart pasted on picture of pink flowers: “i give cute girls discounts at work. (which makes me think that maybe… i’m a lesbian.)”

(Note: I’m a female customer sitting in a pub. I’m approached by another male customer while I read a book.)

Male customer: “Hello, my name is ***.”

Me: “That’s nice.”

Male customer: “So can I have your number?”

Me: “Oh. Actually, I’m gay.”

Male customer: “You want to have sex with women?”

Me: “Well, not right now. Right now, I just want to read my book.”

Male customer: “That’s bulls***! If you’re a lesbian then you want to have sex with women!”

Me: “Honestly, I just want to read my book.”

Male customer: “You’re lying to me, that’s very rude! I’m going to complain!”

Male customer, to a waitress: “That girl over there is being really rude. I want you to do something, it’s disturbing my day. She just lied to me and told me that she was a lesbian, and now she’s mocking me.”

Waitress: “What am I supposed to do about that? Make her straight?”

Male customer: “Just do something about it!”

Waitress, to me: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Hello. I’m sorry about him.”

Waitress: “Oh, it’s no problem! So, can I have your number?”

Male customer: *looks horrified*

Me: “Er, yeah, sure. Here.”

(I write my number on a napkin and she takes it, still smiling.)

Waitress, to male customer: “See? She’s a lesbian.”

Male customer: “That’s not what I wanted you to do! I didn’t want you to ask her out, I wanted you to make her leave! I demand to speak to your manager!”

Waitress: “Oh, he’s just popped out. I can get his boyfriend for you though if you want?”

Male customer: *storms out cursing*

(It turned out that the waitress was kidding about her manager, but she wasn’t kidding about asking me out!)

(via notalwaysright.com )